This Week the News Was Unreal

Not only am I a news junkie, I must also keep track of multiple Web sites belonging to various media entities for my summer internship at a local newspaper. Ergo, there are a lot press releases and news briefs I go through on a weekly basis. And this week there seemed to be an unusual amount of stories that were simply unbelievable, so much so that I felt the need to present them here.

First off, there was the post on Jezebel.com about the announcement that Olympic officials in Beijing will be subjecting “suspicious-looking” women to sex tests to make sure they are not men. This announcement has been rippling through all the major feminist blogs, so there’s not a lot I can really contribute to this discussion beyond the fact that ridiculous doesn’t even begin to adequately describe the situation. And also, I feel sorry for the women who will inevitably be tested because I can’t imagine anything more demeaning than being subjected to a sex test (well, I can imagine some things) but as far as stupid decisions are concerned, this is pretty brainless.

Apparently a monster washed up on the shore near New York City earlier this week. I’ve examined the picture of this thing for way longer than I probably needed to, and the only conclusion I can come up with is that it is a. dead and b. decomposing. My favorite theories so far are that it is either a turtle without a shell or a part of a viral marketing campaign.

Speaking of ill-made decisions and things washing up on shore, the body of the Brazilian priest who took off in a chair affixed to hundreds of latex helium balloons was identified this week. His death is rather unfortunate, but much like the previously mentioned monster, there were several theories being passed around as to what happened to him, including one that suggested he floated away ... to heaven. I’m not really sure how seriously that was put out there, but I guess you could say he made it to heaven after all.

Then there was the story about the inventor who showed off his jet pack at an annual convention for experimental aircraft. As far as futuristic modes of transportation are concerned, I’m more of a flying car kind of girl, but jet packs are still pretty cool. This guy’s doesn’t seem like it as it only stays in the air for less than a minute, but then again the first airplanes didn’t do all that much either in the beginning.

This morning in the daily e-mail I receive from CNN.com, the top story was about someone getting stabbed and beheaded on a Greyhound Bus in Canada. In my opinion, decapitation is one of the most horrifying ways to die, so I can only sort of imagine the terror that knowing that some guy who was sitting on the bus with you was stabbed and beheaded by some other guy who was sitting on the bus with you. I don’t ride the bus in St.Louis, but next month on a visit to Denver I’m going to have to take the bus a few times by myself. Can you guess what I’m going to be thinking about?

Finally, this was news to me this week: I was informed that a man in Nevada (sort of) owns land on the moon. Four words for you: capitalism at its best.